I love the guys and gals who, while pittering-pottering in their inbox, never fail to fling a "forward" or two at their unsuspecting friends. They have taken the onerous responsibility of amusing, entertaining and educating (did I forget spiritual uplifting?) of their friends upon their slender shoulders and will not rest till their aforementioned friends have "fwd"s seeping out of their toenails.
One variety of "fwd"s seeks to move us to tears with a tale so tear-jerky that one wants to tear oneself away from it after the first paragraph. But the pleading in the subject line "Please Read This; Very Moving" halts this sensible inclination in the tracks. Then, just when the story is petering out in a whirlpool of vacuous emotion, comes the subtle blackmail. "If you send this to 10 others within one hour of receiving it, your wishes will come true. If you delete it without forwarding it, you will.........."

Now this has got too predictable and boring. To all the assiduous forwarders, may I suggest a variation?

"If you send this to 10 persons (of any of the three sexes), your crotch will forever be rid of itchiness. If you don"t, you will develop flatulence that is not only 6.3 on the Richter scale but results in emission of pink tear-gas".

Or something equally threatening.

The other variety of forwarders are into fuelling other people"s libido with photographs of ladies whose lungs appear to have large spherical volumes and who are not shy of misplacing their underwear under full public scrutiny. "Careful" or "Njoy" read the welcome subject lines of such mails.

Most of the forwarders are in such glorious hurry to enrich the lives of others that they will not pause to remove the email IDs of the hundereds of others who have earlier  been victims or perpetrators of the same crime. Nor will they remove the array of >>>>>>>s that herald each sentence of the forward. It is for the hapless reader to dart his eyes from word to word, skipping over the steeplechase of >>>>>>>>>> and make a holistic sense of what was first let loose god-knows-when.

It is time those of us who are not driven to throes of ecstasy at the sight of another "fwd" to join hands and devise strategies to roll back this oil-slick laden tide. Any suggestions will be welcome!

For starters, let us start something called "Backwards" (or "bwd", if you prefer) and promptly send every forward back by clicking "reply to everyone". One good turn, after all, deserves a good in return.......